I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
