Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
