My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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