What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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