what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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