that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
