If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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