There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
