Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
