every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
