Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
