32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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