is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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