he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
