I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
