ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
