I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
