I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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