I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
