Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
