We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
