I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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