Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
