This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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