In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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