how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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