My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
