i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
