There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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