He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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