I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
