You can't special order awesome
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
