Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
