Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I could make wine with my vomit
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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