Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do vagina's smell?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
