Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
