I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am mentally ready for anal.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
