I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i want to swaddle you in tequila
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
