wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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