we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
