It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
