it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
