This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
