so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
