just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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