Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
