Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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