Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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