mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
