big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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