Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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