Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
