Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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