If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
