God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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