Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
