okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
