someone threw a dead crab at me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
