This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
