Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
