just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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