As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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