I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
