First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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