One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
