bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
