420 ftw
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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