i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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