So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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