The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
