He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
