it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
True strength comes from lack of pants
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