Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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