he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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