I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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