she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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