So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm getting married
To pizza
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize