Yo dont text me then not text me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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