GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize