Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
