i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
